Have any of you been getting this weird radio signal from out in the Tave somewhere? I keep getting snippets of shows. Something called E T N L? Good vibes!

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Hey Taver theys and thems, what we do is totally safe until it’s totally dangerous. Here’s some stuff to remember that I’ve found helpful.

1. Clear mind, clear Tave. Tave with intent!
2. Don’t Tave without your toolset!
3. Count to 10. There are places you can’t survive. Don’t walk too far from your portal before you know it’s safe.
4. Don’t touch the edges of a portal. You very much will lose a body part
5. Hydrate and take snacks
6. Don’t be a tourist. QDOT sucks. Barsk and Solden are sellouts. The locals may not want you there. Listen and learn
7. Don’t take things without consent. This is just a lame-o move and you could totally destroy several ecosystems / universes / beings / realities / love / puppies.

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POINTS: A = 1 point, B = 2 points, C = 3 points, D = 4 points

Hey tavers, wannabe-tavers, and wish-I-were-better-at-this-tavers. I’ve been getting a bunch of questions from folks I’m meeting in the Tave about how to get better at this whole “ripping through the fabric of reality and popping up in new and exciting and maybe terrifying places” business.

Look, I’m going to be real with you: Taving is super personal and there’s no right way to do it or get better at it. But those of us who’ve been doing this for a while did get our start somewhere, and so a few of us sat down and put together this quiz to help you find your “intro style.” What’s an intro style? It’s where you start. It’s how you identify your technique. And it’s a way to guide your journey toward being a skilled taver who ends up exactly where you want to be the first time, every time.

(Well, most times. Even I sometimes end up on that weird “screaming planet” by accident every now and then.)

The truth is, there’s no one kind of taver. We come in all shapes and sizes, and we open portals in many different ways, some stranger than others. But it can help to identify where you’re starting, so you know where to go next.

Sabrixa wrote this quiz to help. Please address all compliments, questions, and kind-of-mean insults toward her.

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1. Do you find yourself thinking about the terrifying unknown on a regular or semi-regular basis?

A. Yes, and it only piques my curiosity more
B. No, but now I am…
C. What do you mean by ‘semi-regular?’
D. I am paralyzed in my waking life by my dreams

2. Do you ever want to just jump into a new life and leave everything behind?

A. Absolutely, I love change
B. Never… maybe?
C. I’d want to take my cat with me, but yes
D. Can I literally blow up my old life while I’m at it?

3. Do you sometimes find yourself somewhere unfamiliar with no recollection of how you got there?

A. Frequently, and I never know when it’s going to happen
B. Once, when I was a kid
C. It happens from time to time but I’m not worried about it
D. I don’t know how I got here and I don’t care, so long as my absence is inconveniencing my boss

4. Do you sometimes confuse your dreams with real life?

A. All the time, my dreams are very vivid and realistic, in a psychedelic way
B. No, I am protective of my reality
C. Yes, but that feeling usually fades by mid-morning
D. I don’t even know where I am right now, everything is glitter

5. Do you sometimes experience missing time?

A. Yes, and I wish I could control it more
B. No, but I sometimes involuntarily “space out” for long periods of time
C. I think so? Sometimes I can’t remember where I just was, and no one else can, either
D. I wouldn’t say I was “missing” it

6. Do you feel intimidated by forces much vaster and stronger than yourself?

A. Yes, but I would say this intimidation is healthy and keeps me safe
B. No, but only because my experience of the universe is pretty limited
C. It depends on the forces themselves, I take life on a case-by-case basis
D. I AM the intimidating force

7. Do you sometimes experience physical aspects of the world around you that no one else seems to notice?

A. Yes, but I would say this intimidation is healthy and keeps me safe
B. Not really, but then again I’m pretty oblivious sometimes
C. It depends on how I’m feeling at the time, like whether I’m tired or sad
D. You mean other people don’t experience this, too? I thought this was what people meant by “taking life by the throat”

8. Do you enjoy finding creative ways to solve complex problems?

A. Yes! I consider myself very resourceful in a pinch
B. In theory, but sometimes the best solution is no solution
C. It depends on what I have at my disposal, otherwise I might try to redefine the problem
D. I consider “complex problem” to be another term for “someone else’s problem”

9. Are you delighted by the unknown?

A. Yes! I love adventures and crave new experiences
B. No, but only because I am a planner and don’t always like surprises
C. Most of the time yes, but sometimes the unknown is exhausting
D. I am delighted when I am someone else’s unknown

10. If you could be any kind of sandwich, what would it be?

A. BLT, it’s a classic for a reason
B. Grilled cheese, but I’m a purist: nothing goes into it but cheddar
C. Caprese, it’s not really healthy but I can pretend it is
D. PBJ… peanut butter and jalapeno

RESULTS

0-10 points: You are a GADGET TAVER!

Gadget tavers are consummate tavers. You are confident about your abilities and limitations. You love to build things and you see setbacks as opportunities. You might be on the more artistic side and love to draw or otherwise find visual solutions to problems. You might want to look for a tool of some sort to help focus your taving abilities.

11-20 points: You are a REMOTE TAVER!

Remote tavers travel by leaving their bodies at home and letting their minds literally wander. If you are the type of person who likes to make contingency plans for any situation, then remote taving might be right for you. This requires a lot of focus and concentration, but you are designed for this sort of thing. No need to worry about getting lost or stuck; with enough practice, you can return to your body at any time.

21-30 points: You are an INNATE TAVER!

You’re a natural at this. You’re often able to open splits without the use of any tools, using only the power of your mind. Unlike other tavers, you are able to easily set intentions and end up exactly where you want to go. Because you enjoy carefully analyzing your situations and surroundings, you are a great candidate for sharpening your mind’s ability to carry you across the unknown.

31-40 points: You are a CHAOS TAVER!

You are tavin’ in the wind, and you probably have been taving since you were an infant, even if you didn’t know it at the time. Taving comes to you naturally, but controlling it doesn’t. Your erratic taving style often affects the world around you, and not always in a great way. You might have even stumbled upon this quiz after you’ve already been taving for years due to your tendency to “accidentally” tave. You hold immense power. Please use it for good. Please.

Many tavers get their start as one of these four types, but in reality, there are MANY types of tavers, and this is merely a starting point. All tavers forge their own path as they hone their skills.

“They” say “Practice makes perfect.” WE say “Practice makes holes in the universe that you can slip through to discover cool things about the world and yourself.” So get out there and mess stuff up! Your fellow tavers will be there to help.

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Has anyone experienced taving into the Glen and encountering duplicates of familiar places? Have been trying to get back to my home universe and ended up in a house that looks almost like my family’s, but not. VERY strange.